The holiday that everyone has been awaiting for is finally here, but somehow I don't feel any tinge of excitement or relief. It only gives me more pressure because I know I cannot afford to let my guard down for any single moment, or it will have negative repercussions on my common test results. Yet I have this strong fear, due to the lack of confidence in my self-discipline. Jiahui is right to say that I need constant motivation, perhaps because I have not found a dream to strive for, like the rest of my friends. It may sound juvenile and immature, but I sincerely only thought of being a housewife who takes care of her family. I want to be a full-time construction worker who builds a complete home for her loved ones. And this has nothing to with whatever I am studying now.

I'm tired of hearing people say that I have the aptitude for academics and shouldn't put it to waste. I really do not match the expectations and standards that my teachers and fellow peers have set for me. What type I, special class, blah blah blah. They are just mere illusions that I cannot live up to.

Having said that, I will still try my very best to make this holiday an unprecedented one. One that breaks my record of slacking entirely in the past. Oh, but I already have two weeks full of commitment with asean, clep camp and nefmq. This makes it even more important that I cherish every day I have now.

Yes, work hard huiwen! Meanwhile, I shall search for the dream and destiny meant for me.